Song meaning of Юрфак (Faculty of Law) by Grebz

Ah, "Юрфак" by Grebz, a song that makes you question the meaning of life while simultaneously wondering if you should go back to school and study law just to understand what the heck they're talking about. Apparently, the protagonist is expressing his desire to unload a bunch of thoughts into someone's head, which is a truly heartwarming sentiment, don't you think? And if they've torn you apart, fear not, for they promise to split everything equally, just like a communist utopia. They don't want any noise, so don't you dare call your friend. And hold on tight, because they claim that hanging out with them will make you fall in love with the songs of Mikhail Krug. Talk about a unique dating strategy! They compare shooting at you to a bizarre game of archery, but don't worry, they clarify they're not Elon Musk, although they managed to launch a rocket into you. That's... impressive? It's like going from zero to seven Gs in a heartbeat. They also hope that the excessive sound volume will wake up your entire neighborhood because who needs sleep, right? Your windows might shatter, but hey, that just means they were hitting those barrels real hard. They promise it'll be fun, like a joke from a Russian comedian named Mikhail Zadornov. And if you're disobedient, you better watch out, because that booty of yours might get detached. Nowhere to run, baby, you're not Forrest Gump. And if you've wrapped your hair in curlers, get ready to be nicknamed "Potap," because why not throw in a reference to a popular Ukrainian musician while we're at it? The chorus is all about wanting "bablo-blo," which I assume is some sort of financial bliss in the form of a sumo wrestler. Alas, the sad truth is that money doesn't grow legs and just waltz into your life. But fret not, they propose doing things with intelligence, like making a meat cutlet. And if it turns out well, why not repeat the process? The second verse showcases their questionable romantic endeavors. Apparently, they have a knack for being promiscuous without actually having any gifts to offer. Sorry, babe, they're not some guy named Nikolay or "Chary." And don't worry about their lover's youthfulness, because they assure us that they've compensated with a truckload of dollars and some full-on disrobing action. Then they proceed to brag about their passion for the year's top-level (whatever that means) and listening to demos till their crush gets tired. But it's not all about auditory pleasure; they also give away apples and go hang out with a girl named Eva. They inquire about the location of the "top" and brag about their stature, but alas, I'm just as confused as you are. This girl sees them and exclaims, "Wow, you're a wardrobe!" To which they respond, "Pray, my child, for I am a priest." And apparently, this Eva chick has a massive crush on money, while they see her as a miser and feel as lost as a refugee. The bridge proudly announces the end of their law studies, as if that's the epitome of success. And even though you're not a contract (whatever that means), they claim to have torn you apart anyway. In conclusion, my dear friend, I hope this lyrical journey has enlightened you and brought you closer to understanding the complex intricacies of "Юрфак." And remember, if all else fails, just make some delicious meat cutlets. It's a foolproof plan!