Song meaning of Apple Blossom (Remixed) by The White Stripes

Ah, "Apple Blossom (Remixed)" by The White Stripes, a song that captures the essence of romantic rescue and emotional baggage in the most whimsically twisted way possible. So, we've got our little apple blossom, who apparently has a lineup of people she confides in, but let's face it, no one really cares about her problems. Until, of course, our hero comes along with a blinking light (I'm guessing it's a disco ball helmet) to save the day! And you see, there are all these other girls crying left and right, but not our apple blossom, oh no, she's special. She's been on the hunt for someone to listen to her troubles for years, and lo and behold, our hero is here to offer his time. So they sit, they chat, he demands to see her "pretty little smile," because, hey, that's definitely the solution to all of life's problems, right? He promises to sort out her troubles by piling them up, I'm assuming in some sort of emotional landfill, and he's even planning to take it a step further because, folks, he's fallen in love! Yes, he's already decided to marry her, as if solving her pile of troubles was some sort of engagement present. Oh, the romance, the absurdity, the completely backwards logic. Well, best of luck to them both, and may their sorting skills be stronger than their understanding of healthy relationships. Enjoy the rescue, my friends!