Song meaning of ...And If I Did, You Deserved It. (”In case I make it,” Outtake) - Live at Knitting Factory, Spokane, WA by Will Wood

"And If I Did, You Deserved It" is a raw and introspective outtake from Will Wood's live performance at Knitting Factory in Spokane, WA. The song delves into the complex emotions and desires of the artist, exploring themes of fame, self-image, and the struggle for validation.

In the verses, Will Wood expresses a longing for success and recognition, but with a twist. He desires to be safe from the negative aspects of fame while still being adored from a distance. This contradictory desire reflects the artist's internal conflict between wanting to be seen and appreciated, yet fearing the consequences that come with it. The lyrics also touch upon the artist's self-awareness, acknowledging that he is not the type to shy away from confrontation or turn his back on criticism.

The chorus reveals a sense of indifference towards others' opinions, suggesting that the artist either genuinely doesn't care about what people think or is trying to convince himself that he doesn't. The repetition of the line "My heart's empty, and I'm trying to fill it up" reflects a deep longing for fulfillment, suggesting that the artist's pursuit of fame and validation may not be enough to satisfy his emotional needs.

The second verse delves further into the artist's mindset, expressing a desire for the best but acknowledging that he often resorts to self-sabotage. The lyrics touch upon the artist's self-critical nature, admitting that he beats himself up but somehow finds a twisted sense of victory in doing so. The mention of being "poisonous, not toxic" suggests that the artist recognizes his flaws and is willing to admit when he's wrong, but only to assert his own righteousness.

The bridge adds a layer of self-reflection, with the artist acknowledging his own vanity and the power of his appearance. The repetition of the line "if looks could kill I'd be staring in the mirror" suggests a fascination with his own image and the desire to be even more captivating. This further emphasizes the artist's longing for validation and the importance he places on external perceptions.

The song concludes with a reiteration of the chorus, emphasizing the artist's indifference towards others' opinions and his recognition of his own emptiness. The final line, "No, it's not big enough for the both of us," suggests that the artist's internal struggles and desires may not be reconcilable with the expectations and demands of the world.

Overall, "And If I Did, You Deserved It" is a deeply introspective song that explores the complexities of fame, self-image, and the pursuit of validation. Will Wood's raw and honest lyrics provide a glimpse into the artist's inner turmoil and the constant battle between longing for recognition and the fear of its consequences.