Song meaning of A Pain That I’m Used To (Live in Waldbühne, Berlin, 25th July 2018) by Depeche Mode

"A Pain That I'm Used To" by Depeche Mode, performed live in Waldbühne, Berlin, on July 25th, 2018, delves into themes of self-awareness, control, and the search for authenticity in a world filled with distractions and temptations. The song opens with a sense of disillusionment as the narrator expresses uncertainty about their identity and purpose, feeling disconnected from themselves and seeking solace in familiarity. This is highlighted in the lines, "I'm not sure what I'm looking for anymore, I just know that I'm harder to console."

The lyrics further explore the struggle for autonomy and the constant battle against external influences that seek to manipulate and deceive. The chorus, with the repeated plea for "a pain that I'm used to," reflects a desire for a raw, unfiltered experience, free from illusions and false promises. The contrast between reality and illusion is emphasized in lines like, "I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive, you just need to achieve something that rings true."

The song also touches on themes of guilt and redemption, with references to a "hole in your soul" and the consequences of one's actions. The imagery of devils feeding on the seeds that are sown suggests a reckoning with one's inner demons and the need to confront the consequences of one's choices. Ultimately, the narrator seeks a sense of closure and resolution, as expressed in the closing lines, "With a prayer in the air, I will leave it there, on a note full of hope not despair."

Overall, "A Pain That I'm Used To" is a poignant reflection on the complexities of self-discovery, the quest for authenticity, and the enduring struggle to find meaning and truth in a world filled with distractions and illusions. The live performance in Berlin adds an extra layer of emotion and intensity to the song, capturing the raw vulnerability and yearning for connection that permeate the lyrics.